Question: I have an elderly mother declining in health and she requires care during
the day. The difficult situation is that she does not want anyone but my father
to help. Any suggestions on how to get her to accept assistance from others whether
it is a family member or a hired companion? Thank you for your assistance. -Ann
Marie, Florida
Answer: Nobody wants to give up their independence or have strangers
in their home. Your mother might also greatly fear being put in an institutional
setting. The issues and concerns need to be discussed openly in a calm environment
so that both sides can listen to each other. Communication and truly listening are
so important here.
Your mother needs to know and fully understand the negative impact she’s creating
for her husband, you, and any other family members. Discuss her fears and concerns
with her. They don’t have to be rationale. She also needs to clearly understand
the potential negative impact forgoing extra help will have on your father. Your
job is to listen. Then you can let her know your feelings and your desire to get
her outside help.
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