My co-worker's spouse has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. We are very close
and I've told them to call if they need anything, but that seems too impersonal.
What do I say or what can I do? -Patricia
Answer: When a friend is coping with a loved one's or her own imminent
death, you may not know what to say or how to respond. It is common to feel overwhelmed,
self-conscious, or to fear saying the "wrong" thing. However, this may prevent you
from giving the love and support that your friend may need. When you feel at a loss,
try to follow these few basic principles:
- Offer your support: Support can be offered in a tangible way, such as bringing a
meal to your friend's house or running errands. Support can also be shown by just
listening to your friend.
- Follow their lead: Your co-worker will sometimes need to talk about his or her experience,
and other times will choose not to. Remember that keeping a sense of normalcy is
important; whatever you talked about before is appropriate now.
- When in doubt, ask your friend how you can best offer your help and support.
- For more information and resources, go to HFA's web site.
- You may try contacting your local hospice and speaking with a hospice bereavement counselor.
Copyright 2008 Hospice Foundation of America. All Rights Reserved.
