By Dr. Marion Somers, Ph. D., Ask Dr. Marion

QUESTION: How do you broach the idea of moving into an independent living facility with your parents? Hommed in Louisiana, 51

ANSWER: Broaching any delicate subject is best done in a straight forward manner. It's usually good to start by calmly discussing the pros and cons. Write them down and listen to any concerns or preferences that your parents have. You need to clearly understand their perspective, and they need to understand your concerns and the impact elder care is having on your life.

Sometimes the elderly are too wrapped up in all of the changes that they've experienced and all of the loses they've endured. It could be that from their perspective, this is just one more change to endure or refuse. Be patient. Once the pros and cons have been expressed, and you have figured out the costs of care, and you have visited several independent living facilities, the need for independent living usually emerges in a clear manner. Only then, can you make an informed decision.

©2006 Elder Health Resources of America, Inc.