EMAIL AND THE COMPUTER

By Dr. Marion Somers, Ph. D., Ask Dr. Marion

QUESTION: Since I became my mother's caregiver, it's been very difficult to stay in touch with her. How can I improve the situation? Shelly in Texas, 57

ANSWER: During your mother's lifetime, the way we communicate has changed at warp speed. She may not be comfortable with recent technological advances, and it's your task to teach her. I highly recommend you make sure she is comfortable using a computer. Show her how to log on and log off, and how to access the internet and email. Write it out step by step and go over the instructions in person. Turn any fear of the computer into an opportunity to bond. Using email can change your mother's life since staying in touch with you, younger relatives (especially grandchildren and great grandchildren), and other friends becomes infinitely easier via the internet.

Bring all other electronic lines of communication up to speed, too. Buy her a home phone with large numbers and increased volume, and place it in the room that your mother occupies most often (preferably the bedroom). Make sure there's a list of emergency phone contacts near each phone and up on the refrigerator. Buy her a cell phone so you can locate her immediately. Consider installing surveillance ware if she is usually alone or if you want to maximize your safety awareness. It has to be installed with her consent, of course.

Other elder-friendly electronic enhancements include phones with increased volume and ring tones for the hearing impaired, as well as cameras that allow you to see each other while speaking on the phone. These products enhance communication and may make it easier for your mother to avoid emotional and physical isolation.